If you meet a philosopher on a train and ask him his profession, he is likely to lie. It is not that philosophers are especially prone to lying, but rather that philosophy is a peculiar profession. To tell your fellow passenger that you are a philosopher opens up an awkward line of questioning. ... If you take the plunge, however, and accept the label of philosopher, you must be prepared for the disappointment when your listener hears that you don't live in a hut on a mountaintop, haven't uncovered the secret of life, and cannot explain why the world exists. If you are foolish enough to go further and attempt to describe your lifelong attempt to reconcile the epistemology of mathematics with its ontology, be prepared to encounter a look in which boredom and horror are blended equally. Best, therefore, to say simply that you are an architect, and leave it at that.
— A World Without Time, Palle Yourgrau, page 164.
Some possible substitutions:
|live in a hut on a mountaintop||live in your parents basement|
|uncovered the secret of life||know why my computer is running so slowly|
|explain why the world exists||install the driver for my printer|
|reconcile the epistemology of mathematics with its ontology||figure out the best cache invalidation strategy to provide a balance of performance and freshness|
As a corollary, I wonder if there is a t-shirt for philosophers that is congruent with the "No, I will not fix your computer" t-shirt for computer professionals, something like "No, I will not fix your worldview."